According to a poll released earlier this semester in The Eagle, a majority of college students prefer "hooking up" to engaging in a meaningful relationship. Although this revelation is not surprising considering the actions of most college students, the effects of the survey are horrifying to the conservative movement that defends the sanctity of relationships and the purity of marriage. A serious problem is developing in America that is in need of a serious solution; the problem is the collapse of morals and traditional family structure in society.

A few factors contribute to these startling figures, including the lack of two-parent families, an anything-goes mentality, and a lack of proper self-respect and faith by both males and females. Children are raised in a society in which they are not always blessed with loving, faithful parents, and this environment affects their future behavior in life. Even if individuals survive with a traditional set of values instilled by a good home life, they are constantly bombarded by sex in advertising, movies, television, and everyday life. We have reached a point in America where casual sexuality is considered to be appropriate and this has led to a mindset in which sexual activity is just another physical game, like basketball or football. The problem transcends just sex, although that seems to be the idea at the root of the problem. The simple truth is that an increasing majority of individuals, both young and old, are unwilling to commit to a serious relationship. Individuals engage in behavior that is inappropriate and they do so without even being committed to each other. Part of this problem with commitment stems from a fear of being hurt; the result is a vicious cycle that scares many young people away from having meaningful relationships. Two people engage in a relationship, they get hurt, and then they decide that commitment isn't the way to go. Meanwhile, casual dating can lead to a promiscuous lifestyle that ultimately proves more hurtful in the long run than a relationship that doesn't work out. The end result is many youth having a caring person who is perfect for them right in front of their eyes, but being unable to take the risk and commit as a result of past failures. When the complexity of emotion and tension that sex can cause is added to the equation, society is left with generations who don't understand and appreciate the value of commitment, real love, or an actual relationship.

I am an old school, conservative, traditional values type of guy who believes that men have a duty to hold doors for women, pull out chairs for women, and view the women they date with a standard level of respect and decency. Gentlemen, don't ever fool yourselves---one day you will realize that the female gender is the best thing that ever happened to us. Yet, I find that most women whom I date are amazed by my beliefs and shocked by even the slightest level of respect directed their way. It is becoming increasingly obvious in my experience as a collegiate male that traditional values are part of a dying breed and it is imperative that young men be taught the true meaning of a relationship. Relationships are meant to be a give and take exchange between a man and a woman who mutually adore being in the company of each other and complement each other in a way so that both individuals are successfully growing together. Nancy Reagan was once asked about her relationship with her husband, Ronald, and she perfectly stated the complementary nature of a relationship when she said, "It's not always 50-50. Sometimes one partner gives 90 percent but then sometimes the other one does, so it all evens out." It s not always easy, it's something you work at, and I don't think many young people realize that today. But the rewards are so great. If a man and woman do not share that mutual respect and commitment towards one another, they should not be in a relationship. If they are not in a relationship, they should not be engaging in sexual activity, or hooking up, or fooling around, and any number of other terms that are used today to justify unacceptable behavior.

Perhaps the best example of the decline in ideals is demonstrated when you consider the change in behavior between the 1950's and the times of today. Fifty years ago when a man and a woman in college went on a first date, the question on their minds was, Will we be holding hands by the time the date is over? Today, when a man and a woman go on a date, the question on their minds is likely, Will we be having sex by the time the night is over? Other variations to this mindset could include where the two people will wake up the next morning, if they will even bother to call each other after their evening, or if they will even be together at the end of the night because the distinct possibility exists that they will hook up with someone else. These thoughts should demonstrate that something is severely wrong in the world; instead, college students think these thoughts all the time.

Rather than viewing women as sexual objects or arm candy, men have a responsibility to admire women for their internal personality and to recognize and appreciate the joy a proper woman can bring to a man's life. That is the point when a man and a woman should begin showing any affection for each other, not before that mutual respect and adoration is realized. I like to say that a good test of dedication is for a man to imagine a woman without her makeup, her fancy clothes, or any of her physical attributes. Then ask yourself if you still love that woman and if she is still the most beautiful woman in the world. If a man can say yes to that question, he will know that he has found a meaningful relationship.

The same theory applies to women, as well. Ask yourself if you'd still love him without the six-pack abs, the fast car, or the gifts he buys you. The few relationships that do exist in the world today fail because people are not engaging in relationships for the right reasons. Romance is a complicated subject that isn't made any easier by the world that surrounds us. Nancy Reagan is right, though---the rewards can be so great. Too often individuals, especially young people, are unable to truly grasp the concept of a loving relationship. Men and women will have their hearts broken, and in most instances they will not find their soul mate immediately in life. That doesn't mean that it isn't worth taking a few risks and committing to a person you love though. When he finally found his Nancy, Ronald Reagan said, "I love you so very much I don't even mind that life made me wait so long to find you. The waiting only made the finding sweeter." But Reagan would not have had the opportunity to feel this way if he had chosen to live his life through a series of hookups, rather than committing to relationships. Romance is worth the journey---it just takes solid commitment, strong principles, and most importantly, a leap of faith.